A vital skill for these times is getting people to tune not turn off – how to do it.

Buzz words of the moment impossible to avoid – cooperative, collaboration, co-production.

Recently NCERCC has been party to some excellent close productive partnerships recently. There are some role models, individual and projects, who are making a difference by working with an awareness of communication and relationship.

It is uplifting when it is experienced, it is invigorating when everyone knows and is devoted to being ‘on-task’. Everyone knows what the primary task that cannot be compromised.

It is debilitating to experience interactions where communication is missing, either absent or not connecting.

If we want to be in communication with someone – what method works?

We rarely examine the reasons why we believe something. Often people are emissaries of others who have determined the ‘analysis’ and the ‘position’.

We rarely welcome another person dismantling our beliefs. We become defensive to hold on to our identity. We withdraw from dialogue.

So in brief

• Ask someone to explain
• Rapport
• Understand the context in which what is being said – what is its purpose?
• Appreciate what is being said is also for people who agree with the speaker, to confirm their alliances through articulating their shared view
• Reflect together on the evidence that supports what is being said
• Elaboration

Talking widely can sometimes reveal a new understanding.

People change their minds because they persuade themselves (Tim Harford FT 09 0722

You might not achieve all you wanted – often that the person agree with you or at least meet you half way.

You may achieve mutual respect and future discussions can be friendly and thoughtful too.

Attend to logic; turn-taking; listening (see NCERCC blog re listening); talking

A word champion debater cannot change your mind; only you can do that (Tim Harford)

See also How to have impossible conversations here.