Naomi Stadlen (1942 -2025) – with our thanks for these insights.
Naomi Stadlen wrote lits ( see below) on mothers and mothering.
NCERCC, enthused by her work, has written a piece to remember Naomi changing only a few words to be RCC relevant.
To an untrained eye Residential Therapeutic Child Care (RTCC) can look a lot like doing nothing. Who understands that ‘just looking after children’ is complex work. It is both ordinary and very difficult. It looks ordinary, but is extraordinary.
Nothing prepares you for looking after looked after children, or for learning about what is really is ‘going on’ (clue – everything). The work is demanding because when looking after aby children, you have to know what you are doing, and what is actually happening. In reflection you always find it’s more involved than you think.
Nothing prepares you for the experience if RTCC because nothing is like it. It is a demanding preoccupation, all that responsibility for a child, personal, professional.
Being so tired like never before, can’t think, exhausted, feeling intensely.
Getting so much done whilst others might see it as getting nothing done. Being present.
Making ‘heartroom’ is hard work.
Slowly we turn from being carers (protecting ourselves?) to being parents (protecting children) through keeping in touch and keeping in mind.
It’s intelligent work making this special time for a child. Childhood is one time in a life to feel special isn’t it?
Meanwhile the recipient of what we are doing looks like they are doing nothing. Growing up involves everything. And that is the RTCCWs (Residential Therapeutic Child Care Workers)
task – everything, what is going on around and inside the child
Slowly, and with difficulty, RTCCWs come to trust themselves with this child, and the child then through recognising experientially the care involved, comes to trust the RTCCW. RTCCWs make the attachemts the children take and then return.
Naomi Stadlen books
What mothers do – especially when it looks like nothing
How mothers love – and relationship
are born.
What mothers learn – without being taught
Image Credit: Naomistadlen.com
