Saying what we mean.

Open transparent communication is speaking clearly, saying what you mean, isn’t it?

Language is what we are thinking. What we think directs what we do. We create our reality. We pass on our reality to others by what we say and do.

The words we have been given may not be what we think. If we continue to use words that do not connect to the reality we want to live in then we are allowing someone else to determine it. We are not being ‘authentic’, true to ourselves. We are allowing our environment to be impinged by others.

Sometimes language has evolved as shorthand but it exerts an influence, it might place professional over personal. We all will use shorthand, but what determines it?

There is

• everyday language
• abstract language used in theory
• empirical and often quantitative languagein research,
• categorical languagewhen information giving
• technical professional language
• language when talking about values.

We can use straight forward language when talking and writing. We need to be accurate, easily understood, without jargon, not accepting stereotypes, be determinedly anti-oppressive and antiracist, aligned to the language the children say they want, as individual as the child and situation

We use language in different ways in different situations. We need to be fluent in all of them. We also need to be reflective in and on all of them. Do I need to use this way of speaking at this time? What happens if I do? What and who am I including or excluding?

Do the people with us when we are speaking, or reading what we have written, feel we are speaking about them and with them, or to them?

When we feel understood we are more ready to speak openly sharing what our greatest concerns are as we know they will be recognised.

What is being said, and why?

Are we using words used all the time? If not, is this difficult for the person we are with?

Are you and the person you are with understanding each other? Or not? And not saying it?

Not being understood sometimes stresses a person, sometimes they will become forceful and we may misunderstand it and not see our place in creating the stress and the way someone is talking to you (reflecting back what we are doing?). We might call this ‘fight’? Or, maybe they have become quiet or silent. We might call this ‘flight’?

If this is happening then perhaps it is not a shared experience and it is ‘Me’ and ‘You’, or even ‘Us’ and ‘Them’?

The concept of the Common Third is central to social pedagogical practice. Essentially the Common Third is about using an activity to strengthen the relationship between us and a child and to develop new skills. This could be any activity, be it cooking pancakes, tying shoelaces, fixing a bike, building a kite, playing football together, going on a fishing trip together.

And talking and writing together?